Dear Sister, Hello! Oh how I have missed the feel of my hands on a keyboard as words fall from my heart and mind, through my fingertips, and into existence. Although China feels like it could have been yesterday, it surely has been awhile. We have been home now for 20 months! I can not believe that this Christmas we will be celebrating two years home with our daughter. What is time? I had every intention of documenting our first months home. I wanted to share the journey, the struggles, and the achievements in the hopes that my words could help, support, or encourage the next Mama newly home with her baby. In reality, I visited this space only once before my world started to spin wildly out of control. In those early days, when the spin was just gaining speed, I longed to write. I desperately tried to gather my thoughts and emotions and organize them to make sense, but I failed over and over. Little did I know that the spin would go round and round, gaining speed and momentum for the next 18 months. I'm not so sure that the spinning has stopped, maybe it never will. I will say now that I am able to see through the dizziness and haze and I'm ready to try and make sense of what I can. Or at least share it. Because life is really darn H A R D. And I know I'm not the only one. Here is the highlight reel of the past 20 months: We got home from China at the end of December 2016. We spent the next few months cocooning, and adjusting to life with a Chinese toddler that spoke Mandarin and was very spoiled and bossy. All in all, our transition with Charlotte was smooth and love flowed. In May, after a sequence of familial events, we took primary custody of our 12 year old nephew. So we went from two, easy and obedient biological children, to four kids aged 13, 12, 11 and 3, in less than 6 months time. Our entire life was different. Parenting became so difficult. I was exhausted every. single. day. I cried more tears, yelled more times, and hid more often than ever before. It was a tough adjustment. In August we were starting the school thing with our four children at different schools. Ben who had been accepted into a Master's program, was also getting into the school vibe. Our schedules were packed. We were gearing up and preparing for the task. And then the other shoe dropped. Ben's mother was diagnosed with stage four cancer. It was sudden and it was bad. We then dove into the life of a family with a loved-one battling cancer. As so many know, it is taxing, emotional, and heavy. Our weeks were highlighted with results of the latest scans, x-rays, reports, and doctors visits. The news was devastating every time. Thanksgiving and Christmas came and went with tears and anguish. We knew these would be the last holidays we would have with her. In March we shared our last days with our beloved Sue Mama. She was the glue that held our family together, the maker, the fixer, and loved us all so well. Walking our children through death and ushering a loved one into eternity was a beautifully broken process. It took its chunk of flesh from all of us. In May we said goodbye to our nephew as he was reunified with his mother. He was moving out of our home and would be living three hours away. It was incredibly bitter-sweet. At the end of May my beautiful grandmother passed away suddenly. She was my rock, and the anchor of our family. We spent the summer in a whirlwind moving from our home of 9 years to an amazing property on 5 acres just outside our little town. A dream that suddenly became a reality. And only a few days ago Ben's grandmother passed away from a long battle with cancer. Each of these situations is flooded with hard, but oh how much beauty, growth, grace, and love. And full dependence on Jesus. Please don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to the message to be that my life has been one giant pity party for a year and half. That is not where I’m going with this. I could go into great detail about each event with its own ups and downs, joys and tears, triumphs and failures. There were many wonderful, priceless moments that I will value and remember all of my days. But there were so many of the hardest moments, hours, and days of my life. I want to convey … hard is hard is hard. And when hard follows hard after hard, it is only natural to get a little wonky. If your not wonky...your stuffing it too far down. Sister, if life has thrown things at you faster than you can process in a clear and healthy manner - I am speaking to you. If you have found yourself in the loneliness of the really hard things, in the messiest parts of life, in the dark, in the grief. You Are Not Alone. In this world of social media, and all its perfection, it is so easy to think that everyone else has a breezy life of flowers, cleanliness, and ease. But we live in a real world, with real struggles. Where children actually don’t have parents. Where people, of all ages, actually die. Where love is not a feeling that is warm and fuzzy, but it actually requires grueling work at great sacrifice, with nothing in return. Sometimes it all feels very lonely. And I have found that people don't like to talk about hard things. Especially things like orphans, grief, and death. Not long ago, death was only an abstract thought to me. But this year I have stared death in the face. To be honest, I struggle to say "Where is your sting?" Some days I feel suffocated in the tight grip of fear, crushed by the weight of grief. I definitely got a little wonky. Easy tasks became hard to accomplish, leaving the house caused anxiety, and tears would fall like rain for no identifiable reason at all. This went on for months...and the guilt of me not "living my best life." felt so big. During this time, that in reality is still lingering, I could rely on only a couple things. God is good & my family loves me. In the darkest days, in the thickness of grief, in the rooms of death. God became so BIG. It was amazing and refreshing and soothing. He is so good. He is definitely close to the brokenhearted. If I couldn't depend on anything, if I had a day where everything seemed lost and undone, I could open my bible and words would come alive and make sense in a way I never thought before. I could put on worship music and it would run into my veins and flow through me. I could depend on Him, always. And He remained steadfast and so so good. My family became my safe haven. We could cry together, laugh together, and do endless favors for one another. Grace became our language. And we needed all of it. Laura Kelley once quoted on her Instagram @pitterpatterart that she was "grace-guzzling" and I adopted that quote immediately. We could not have got through that time without endless grace flowing from all of us. I had days where I couldn't leave my room, days where tears wouldn't stop, and days upon days of not leaving our house. And Ben, and Hannah, and Logan, and Charlotte all had their days as well. This is grief. And this is what I learned... If you are in the midst of something similar... be so kind to yourself. Give so much grace to your soul and your body. We are spiritual beings that have deep, deep feelings. Feelings that run into our mortal bodies and wreck havoc. Be gentle, be loving, be good. Be aware of what you need and let others help you. Lean on those around you that have strength. We serve an unimaginably gracious and loving Father. And it is so comforting to think that He grieves too....He knows our pain, our struggle, and our human fragility. He is so close to us and so loving. I am so grateful that sunshine has begun to shine through these stormy skies. I feel the rays of the sun, and and summer on the horizon. And I am so grateful for this struggle. I now know what it is like to experience loss and pain. To be honest, I found it hard to relate in suffering before this. I want to be the one that leans in and sits with a grieving friend, and doesn't shy away. Because it so lonely to bare this weight alone. We are meant to love and encourage one another and this year has been a crash course in how to do so. I am so looking forward to a season of healing and rest. And if not, God is still good. Thank you for allowing me to share my heart with you all and getting back into the writing groove. In Love, Kelty
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On December 13th at 11 o'clock in the morning we boarded a plane headed to Beijing, China. It was finally the day, finally the hour. Every effort, every paper, every signature, All the wait. The the heartache. The longing. It all came down to this. The final leg of the journey we had been on for the past year and a half. I had dreamed about how the moment would feel when we boarded that flight. We had prayed and been prayed over time and again. And we had such a great hope and anticipation in our hearts. It was finally time.
We landed in Beijing after a grueling twelve hour flight, yet our spirits were still high and we were running on adrenaline through customs. We were greeted at the airport by a driver from the foster home who was tall and had a kind smile . He assisted us to the van and we started our 2 plus hour drive to New Day Foster Home. Night quickly fell, we got only a glimpse of a smog-blanketed city before it became completely dark and very cold. We were dead tired and freezing without a heater through the long van ride. Above us hung a full moon in the night sky. It was as big as a harvest moon and shone a brilliant hue of yellow. I thought about how we would meet our daughter in the morning and how significant it was that we were arriving on a full moon. It was the end of our labor and a new birth was imminent. We arrived at the home a little past 7pm and went straight to sleep. It was crazy to think that our daughter slept only a few rooms away. We woke in the morning and devoured an authentic Chinese breakfast. We then attended a sweet time of morning prayer with the staff. Before we knew it we were walking toward the preschool room where Charlotte was playing. We walked in and there she was. Standing there looking right at us. They asked her who we were and she pointed at us and said "Mama, Baba." It was a very surreal moment. With all the range of emotions I felt during the process, I was expecting for them all to come flooding out. But they didn't. In fact, I don't remember feeling any emotion other than curiosity when we met for the first time. I was just so curious to meet this child that we had only known on paper for so long. We approached her slowly, sat next to her and started playing with some toys. I looked her up and down for quite a while. Memorizing her hair, her skin, her eyes, her little hands, her tiny body. All these things I had wondered about and imagined were now right in front of me. I just remember thinking she was so beautiful. We spent the next two days at the foster home with Charlotte. We followed her schedule and spent some one on one time with her. It was a very bittersweet time. The people at New Day loved her so well. She knew love. She was cared for and had relationships that were deep and meaningful. To meet the people she loved and to see their faces light up when they saw her- it stirred emotions in Ben and I that we had never felt before. It almost felt wrong for us to be there. Wrong that any child should have to go through this upset. To have to be uprooted from their home, their relationships, their country, their culture and to be planted elsewhere. It was hard knowing this path was ahead of her. This is where adoption gets real. Where we struggle to find some way to balance the joy and hope of a future with loss and grief of a past. Our time at the foster home flew by. It was priceless to have that experience. We felt honored to be welcomed into what had been Charlotte's home for the past two years, and to be treated as family. We left the foster home and headed for Inner Mongolia on a Sunday. That night, Charlotte spent her last night as an orphan on the overnight train with her nanny. My heart was anxious and heavy thinking about her leaving behind all she knew but also filled with such thankfulness for finally being united with her forever. We would meet Charlotte in the lobby of our hotel at 10am on Monday morning, December 19th. We headed down early because I don't think that hotel room could hold the anticipation that was overflowing in all four of us. Our guide, Aggy, was already there and we found a quiet spot in the lobby to sit and wait. We ordered tea and drank it mindlessly. It helped to have something to keep our hands occupied while the nerves flowed erratically through them. All the emotions finally welled up and were overflowing. Logan spotted her first and announced her arrival. My heart skipped a beat and it felt like my stomach was in my throat. These were the feelings I thought would arrive at our first meeting, but here they were unexpectedly, on the brink of our forever. Charlotte was carried by her nanny and in the blink of an eye she was in my arms. It was holy ground, a heavy moment. Just like that an orphan became a daughter. A sister. She was ours and we were hers. Ben and I were ushered to our seats as we had many papers to sign. Charlotte's nanny sat next to me and I offered her some tea. She declined with a smile. I yearned to talk to her. There was so much I wanted to say, so many questions and so much gratitude I wanted to convey. But we sat next to each other om silence through the paperwork and only exchanged smiles. This was all business and she seemed to know it. I wondered how many children she had delivered into families. How many mothers arms has she placed crying and confused babies into? How many times has she sat by a nervous mother and smiled at them comfortingly? How many children has she loved and said goodbye to? It's admirable work she does, she is the hands and love of Jesus, if she knows it or not. Before I knew it the official and the nanny were standing and putting on their coats. She gave me one last smile, knelt down and said something to Charlotte and walked away without looking back. Charlotte looked concerned and whined a little bit but she didn't cry. I picked her up as she kept her gaze fixed on her nanny until she was gone. I remember feeling a bit weird in that moment. I longed for her nanny to be able to stay and help us, help her, with the hard that was before all of us. But that is not how things are done in China. So there we were, a family that had instantly just grew by a 2.5 year old. Ben and I took a deep breath, looked at each other with a bit of weary and shock-y, yet excited and "can you believe it?!" eyes. It was done. We had a daughter. To be continued... I've been quiet. Not only in the virtual world, but in like...real life. I've been short with inquiring minds, and have mustered some half-hearted smiles to well-intended comments. The wait. The process. Adoption. We all talk about it but we don't really get it until we are in the thick of it. Where each day is encompassed by a blanket of waiting. Another day we can slash a big, bold line through. Another day closer to our baby. And it can get hard. And it has been hard. We had our immigration approval in-hand on May 13th. This is a HUGE step in the adoption process because it means that DTC (dossier to china) is only weeks away. Well, that was two and a half months ago now... We have had some, eh, road blocks. And I have had some, eh, tantrums. Our first road block came when our agency found a mistake in our home study. The result: an entire page of our signed, sealed, delivered home study would have to be rewritten. This set us back four weeks. And I threw the biggest fit and totally freaked out and attempted to micro-manage every detail of fixing said mistake. In the end I had to "chill out" and I felt another piece of my control-freakiness fall off. And I sank a little deeper into God's will. Next came the authentication process. "Two and a half weeks" our agency said. Ok, let me quote you on that and email you every other day and especially on the specific day it should be at the next step and stalk the status of this paperwork like a full-blown creeper. We all do it. This in NORMAL for us adoption mamas, ok? By three and a half weeks our paperwork still wasn't back and I received an email from our social worker at 4:59pm on a Friday afternoon that stated that it would not be back until the following Tuesday. Note to all social workers: this is NOT how unstable, emotional, and at many times, crazy adoption mamas like to receive not so amazing news, just FYI. I drove to work with tears streaming down my face. Frustration. Disappointment. Longing. But most of all.. a deep sense of total, and utter lack of control. And on that sunny afternoon drive another piece of myself died to my flesh, and I sank deeper into God's will. The day finally arrived that our long-awaited DTC email should be making it's glorious way into my inbox and all the praises were going to be sung! Morning: nothing. Afternoon: nothing. Evening: nothing. Humph. That night on the way home from work I drove in silence. In the quiet God started speaking quite loudly. Only in His perfect timing would any of this come to pass. I was powerless to change one single thing about that. On the very day that He has ordained and predestined would be the day that we get to be with our girl, and no other. The sovereignty in that can stir the sweetest peace and the deepest fear. How do I learn to trust in God's ways, no matter what? A lifelong lesson I am determined to learn. The next morning I awoke to an email from our social worker and it stated that some documents had been left behind in the authentication process and that it would be another 2-3 weeks before we could be DTC. And with this news came disappointment, no doubt. But instead of my usual status: major melt down followed by crocodile tears. I felt myself pushing forward, sinking deeper into the perfect will of God. And these are the days of a mama going through the process. The highs and lows of this broken yet beautiful journey of adoption. We may be DTC in August, we may not. Only God knows. We'll get there when we get there! These song lyrics by Lauren Daigle could not be more perfect. They have become a prayer that is on repeat in my soul. I share them with you in the hope that they help you in those really hard days. You are my strength and comfort.
You are my steady hand. You are my firm foundation, the rock on which I stand. Your ways are always higher. Your plans are always good. There's not a place where I'll go, You've not already stood. When You don't move the mountains I'm needing You to move. When You don't part the waters I wish I could walk through. When You don't give the answers as I cry out to You. I will trust. I will trust. I will trust in You. Well, all that "official paperwork" only took 6.5 weeks. No time at all right?
I've found myself using words like "finally." "forever." and "sooooooo" and "looooong." My husband spoke up a couple of weeks ago and told me I was being ... well... ridiculous. He reminded me that this is the process. That God has this thing in the palm of his hand. That this is just how long things take and really, didn't I think this was moving quite fast? Ummmmm....... no. On my way to work one morning I was listening to Beth Moore and I just pushed play where I had left off months ago. It was the series on Esther (I totally recommend by the way) and can you guess what? The entire session was on trusting and waiting. Have I mentioned that I am tiny little bit of a control freak? I like being in control because it gives me a strong sense of safety and security. God has moved in and has been reminding me in not-so-subtle ways that HE is in control and I need to sit back and trust that he has totally got this covered. And oh the wait. It's harder than I thought it was going to be. The longing for the day that I can hold her tight and kiss those cheeks! It's tough. But God brought such a beautiful reminder to me. Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! Isaiah 30:18 He is longing too. That word "longing" is the exact same word in Hebrew as wait. There is no waiting without longing. And He will bring it all to pass in His perfect timing. Some days this is a fresh peace that washes over me. Other days it's a tight grip in my chest that everything could unravel and I'm powerless to stop it. But His mercies are new every morning and every morning is a chance for me to lay my will at His feet and trust where this is going. Because He is so worthy to be trusted! Right after we were matched with our girl, Ben asked me if I had any reservations about moving forward. I knew that with us switching agencies we would have to pay about $9,000 just to move forward. I told Ben that I was concerned that we didn't have the money that we would need to move forward. He immediately responded that he wasn't concerned about money at all. So we said yes in faith. A few days later our new agency sent us the payment plan that we would need to pay before getting officially matched with our girl. And God showed up. For no given reason and no explanation the agency cut our fees by $5,850. Our agency fee was only $4,000! The next day we were doing our taxes and our refund covered the entire payment! This still gives me goosebumps as I write it. Total God thing. Speaking of our girl and being officially matched. We received our preliminary approval from China a few days ago! This is the CCCWA officially agreeing to review our dossier specifically for her when it is entered into their system. This is really exciting for us and a really big step! So! I have waited (im)patiently for 6.5 weeks to introduce you our beloved daughter. Her name is Charlotte. And you can meet her here. We would love for you to read all about where she is living, the work that is being done, and of course all about her! Here is a sneak peek- I could fall in love just with that top bun! It's the day before my birthday, My big Three-O. I have been counting down the days for many, many days. Honestly, I think my countdown started in May. With 250 something days to go. Tomorrow I am legal by China's qualifications to adopt from their country. It has been a huge milestone that I have anxiously awaited. And I am totally psyched about it! I really hoped and prayed that tomorrow we would be sending off our completed dossier to China. What an amazing birthday present. I really wanted nothing else but to have all of our paperwork completed, kissing it goodbye and sending it off to China! In early December it started looking like my hopes were set way too high and it was evident that our dossier wouldn't be completed by my birthday. In addition, our placing agency, CCAI had notified me that wait times had become longer than initially quoted and we should anticipate being matched approximately 18 months from my birthday. Despite what our PLACING AGENCY had said I continued preparing to have our girl home by the fall. I was starting to come across a little crazy. This was emphasized by continued emails to our agency inquiring about a specific baby girl that I was interested in pursuing. Which was received with a polite but firm answer of "You are VERY down the on the list." Ok. So your telling me there is a chance? Throughout the holidays things were moving at a snails pace and I was getting discouraged and disappointed. I heard what our agency was saying and the timeline was way off course but I felt a sense of peace and assurance that we should keep our sights ahead. I felt like God was telling us a way different story than what was actually unfolding before us. That's a difficult thing isn't it? Sometimes God asks us to have faith in things very much unseen. On January 22nd, Ben was pumping gas at Costco and I was scrolling FB and there was a post about the baby girl that I had inquired about months before. The post simply said that her file was ready and she was listed with an agency in Pennsylvania. I spent almost our entire Costco trip sending emails to any address I could find on the agency's website. I knew that the line would be long to see her file, and she was probably being matched as I typed those emails, but I needed to follow my heart. Later that evening I received an email saying that there were many, many families interested in her and that the agency was going to select a family for her via a committee. Attached was the file of the a baby with the most perfectly round, pink and kissable cheeks you have ever seen. Ben and I took the weekend to look at her file, pray and seek God's peace with pursuing her. It didn't take long. We almost immediately got a YES! and by Sunday night I had submitted our application. We kept this almost completely to ourselves. The chances were zilch in my book. What is the number on "many, many families?" Whatever it was I had guarded my heart and kept my hopes in check. Through the week my husband and I both had strong feelings of unworthiness. The weight of adoption is heavy when there is a child looking back at you. A child that could potentially your daughter. How could God entrust us with such a beautiful life? How could He connect us to one child thousands of miles away? Genesis 32:10 I am not worthy of all the unfailing love and faithfulness you have shown to me, your servant. This verse played over and over in my mind. And I kept asking God - How could you choose us? We are not worthy of such a gift. On Friday morning at 7:25am I missed a call from the adoption agency in Pennsylvania. My heart sank after I listened to the brief and vague message. I knew what she wanted to talk to me about. She was calling to say that after careful review of our application, they moved forward with another family and she wanted to thank us for our interest in this child. And we will be number whatever on the list if the families ahead of us should not proceed. I took the kids to school and felt prepared to call her back. I knew this was going to be the outcome. I was ready for this. I called her back straight away and a lady came on the phone with a soft-spoken voice and a gentle tone. She started talking about our application and quite honestly I was just bracing myself for the end. So I tuned her out. The only words I remember went something like this.... "And we think you would be an amazing family for this child, and the committee chose you." What? Say that again? Now. I would love to go on about how I was so emotional and overcome with joy and I fell on the floor praising God. That is how I pictured - "the call" But shock was the only emotion, or lack thereof, that was expressed during that call. Totally and utterly shocked. Fast forward to today and the all the joy, excitement and yes, fear has sunk in. We are so amazed at all the ways God has said YES this week. He flew open the doors and ushered us into this new agency and to our new daughter. We are floored with humbleness and dancing with praise! So....instead of submitting our dossier on my birthday we will be submitting our Letter of Intent. Tomorrow morning we will spend at our local agency filling out paperwork and signing for our girl. There is no place I would rather be. Best. Birthday. Ever. God is so good. He's totally got this! We have some official paperwork to fill out but when we receive all the green lights we will share who she is! I can't wait for you to see these cheeks- you'll want to smoosh them too! Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
Ephesians 3:20 The dictionary defines missions as: the vocation or calling of a religious organization, especially a Christian one, to go out into the world and spread its faith; a strongly felt aim, ambition, or calling It's missions month at our church. Every year we take one month and focus entirely on what God is doing in the world through Koinonia Church. I love it. I love hearing the stories of our missionaries. I love hearing about other causes and the people with the passion to live for the cause. It is my favorite time at our church. I just love missions. Confession: I secretly want Pastor Jeff's job. Who is the pastor of missions. Isaiah 1:17 Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows. Along with Go into all the world...God asks us to defend the cause of the orphan and fight for the rights of widows. Adoption is such a huge part of missions. Anyone who has adopted has brought a child, into their family and has called them their own. Does this story sound familiar? God has called us his sons and daughters. It says we were predestined for adoption to sonship, through Christ Jesus. He calls us His own. Adoption is love. We are answering God's call to adopt. But there is so much more! He just doesn't want us to quietly go to China and adopt our baby girl. There is a need. There is a call. There is a mission in adopting. And God wants to people to know about it! To be honest this shoe drive is WAY out of my comfort zone. I would rather keep to myself and not explain that.... we are collecting old shoes to hopefully get 5,000 to raise awareness about the orphan crisis. If it were completely up to me I would pick up as many shifts as I am humanely able and pay for everything ourselves. I don't like asking for help. I don't really like talking about the possibility of needing help and I certainly don't like asking for donations. It's super uncomfortable for me in almost every way possible. It's a I can do this myself, thank you very much attitude that is not from the Lord in any way. But really, adopting a child is completely not doable alone. At the minimum we need 4 friends to write extensive letters, vouching for our suitability as parents. We need one family that will take our children in case anything ever happened to us. We need our bosses to write letters for us stating we are in good standing order with our work. We need notaries, we need doctors, and therapists. We need friends and family to watch our kids while we are at lengthy adoption classes. All to help us complete just the first stage. When we ask people to help us we are mostly accepted by a warm smile and a huge helpful attitude. But there are the few that look at us like we're crazy and we've just asked them to give their right arm for an orphan in another country. It's at those times I want to crawl into my hole and not talk to anyone-ever. Isn't it crazy that God calls us the "Body of Christ?" No part can work entirely on it's own. 1 Corinthians 12:15 says "If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?" No one is independent of the body. When God wants to work through us to accomplish something, He is going to involve other people. Guaranteed. We can't do it alone. How much I would love to do God's work in the comfort and safety of my own home - that's got to be an oxymoron. We are the body and we have to work together. Could God open up shift after shift after shift for Ben and I to work to pay for our entire adoption- absolutely He could! But how many more people would it reach to force us to spread the news around Hanford about the 900,700 orphans in China? and the 147 million worldwide. God is calling us to adopt and it seriously takes a village! He loves a little girl in China so much that He has stirred in our hearts to set out for her. He will pluck her out of her situation and place her in a family with a future and a hope. It's such a beautiful story that we get to be a part of - but we can't keep it all to ourselves. So just so you know when I've posted for the 100th time on FB or IG about more shoes, I'm dying a little inside. But ultimately I am dying to my pride and my flesh with the hope that I am arising with a faith in God. And a part of a mission for His Kingdom. I can't tell you how many people lately have asked me questions like Are you guys done having kids? Are you pregnant? Are you planning on getting pregnant? Don't you want more kids? and one person even said "Your pregnant right?!" On two. separate. occasions. There must be something going on that has made random people all of the sudden overly concerned with the size of my family. Maybe I have that maternal glow. Or maybe my natural pooch is getting just a little bigger and people assume...(gosh, I hope that is not it!). So for the record: I am not pregnant and Ben and I are not planning on becoming pregnant. However, We are adding a little person to our family. We are adopting! And to be honest I cannot wait to replace my polite smile and quiet no response to these prying questions with a giant, enthusiastic YES! I have been wanting to adopt for a very long time. If you were to ask my eleven year old self how and when I would have children I would have said "I'm going to adopt, immediately." About five years ago I went a little crazy trying to convince the Lord and my husband that it was the perfect time to adopt and we were all totally ready. I got a pretty firm NO from both parties. Greatly disappointed, I learned to take a step back and trust in the Lord and His timing. I am so grateful that God knows us better than we know ourselves and His timing is always perfect. Ben and I have gotten the green light and we feel like the time is now. We have begun the process to adopt from China. I'm going to have to dive deep into " Why China" another time but for now we are so much at peace with our path. And we know our daughter is waiting for us in there. The adoption road to this child will definitely be unlike anything either of us has ever experienced. Before we can even be matched with her we have to be exposed to our core and present ourselves in a homestudy. A social worker, whom we have never met, will inquire with our dearest friends and family, doctors, therapists, the DMV, and police department on their opinions on our parenting abilities. The authorities that be will then determine if we are educated enough, healthy enough, wealthy enough, mentally stable enough, and qualified enough to bring a child into our home. If we are found - acceptable- then we are able to be matched and we will travel to China to bring home our girl. I do hope to document our ups and downs of this process. The greatest joys that lie ahead and probably some of our deepest sorrows. We know that every adoption begins with a loss. I am so humbled that God thinks us worthy to love and care for a child not of our own. We are so excited for this little life set for us. I cannot wait to share our journey with you as it unfolds. God is already showing up in some pretty awesome God-ways. Thank you for being a part of it as our friends, family and community. Kelty We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life.
But those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them, are carried on the wings of destiny and placed among us by God's very own hands. -Kristi Larson |
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September 2018
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