It's the day before my birthday, My big Three-O. I have been counting down the days for many, many days. Honestly, I think my countdown started in May. With 250 something days to go. Tomorrow I am legal by China's qualifications to adopt from their country. It has been a huge milestone that I have anxiously awaited. And I am totally psyched about it! I really hoped and prayed that tomorrow we would be sending off our completed dossier to China. What an amazing birthday present. I really wanted nothing else but to have all of our paperwork completed, kissing it goodbye and sending it off to China! In early December it started looking like my hopes were set way too high and it was evident that our dossier wouldn't be completed by my birthday. In addition, our placing agency, CCAI had notified me that wait times had become longer than initially quoted and we should anticipate being matched approximately 18 months from my birthday. Despite what our PLACING AGENCY had said I continued preparing to have our girl home by the fall. I was starting to come across a little crazy. This was emphasized by continued emails to our agency inquiring about a specific baby girl that I was interested in pursuing. Which was received with a polite but firm answer of "You are VERY down the on the list." Ok. So your telling me there is a chance? Throughout the holidays things were moving at a snails pace and I was getting discouraged and disappointed. I heard what our agency was saying and the timeline was way off course but I felt a sense of peace and assurance that we should keep our sights ahead. I felt like God was telling us a way different story than what was actually unfolding before us. That's a difficult thing isn't it? Sometimes God asks us to have faith in things very much unseen. On January 22nd, Ben was pumping gas at Costco and I was scrolling FB and there was a post about the baby girl that I had inquired about months before. The post simply said that her file was ready and she was listed with an agency in Pennsylvania. I spent almost our entire Costco trip sending emails to any address I could find on the agency's website. I knew that the line would be long to see her file, and she was probably being matched as I typed those emails, but I needed to follow my heart. Later that evening I received an email saying that there were many, many families interested in her and that the agency was going to select a family for her via a committee. Attached was the file of the a baby with the most perfectly round, pink and kissable cheeks you have ever seen. Ben and I took the weekend to look at her file, pray and seek God's peace with pursuing her. It didn't take long. We almost immediately got a YES! and by Sunday night I had submitted our application. We kept this almost completely to ourselves. The chances were zilch in my book. What is the number on "many, many families?" Whatever it was I had guarded my heart and kept my hopes in check. Through the week my husband and I both had strong feelings of unworthiness. The weight of adoption is heavy when there is a child looking back at you. A child that could potentially your daughter. How could God entrust us with such a beautiful life? How could He connect us to one child thousands of miles away? Genesis 32:10 I am not worthy of all the unfailing love and faithfulness you have shown to me, your servant. This verse played over and over in my mind. And I kept asking God - How could you choose us? We are not worthy of such a gift. On Friday morning at 7:25am I missed a call from the adoption agency in Pennsylvania. My heart sank after I listened to the brief and vague message. I knew what she wanted to talk to me about. She was calling to say that after careful review of our application, they moved forward with another family and she wanted to thank us for our interest in this child. And we will be number whatever on the list if the families ahead of us should not proceed. I took the kids to school and felt prepared to call her back. I knew this was going to be the outcome. I was ready for this. I called her back straight away and a lady came on the phone with a soft-spoken voice and a gentle tone. She started talking about our application and quite honestly I was just bracing myself for the end. So I tuned her out. The only words I remember went something like this.... "And we think you would be an amazing family for this child, and the committee chose you." What? Say that again? Now. I would love to go on about how I was so emotional and overcome with joy and I fell on the floor praising God. That is how I pictured - "the call" But shock was the only emotion, or lack thereof, that was expressed during that call. Totally and utterly shocked. Fast forward to today and the all the joy, excitement and yes, fear has sunk in. We are so amazed at all the ways God has said YES this week. He flew open the doors and ushered us into this new agency and to our new daughter. We are floored with humbleness and dancing with praise! So....instead of submitting our dossier on my birthday we will be submitting our Letter of Intent. Tomorrow morning we will spend at our local agency filling out paperwork and signing for our girl. There is no place I would rather be. Best. Birthday. Ever. God is so good. He's totally got this! We have some official paperwork to fill out but when we receive all the green lights we will share who she is! I can't wait for you to see these cheeks- you'll want to smoosh them too! Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
Ephesians 3:20
2 Comments
sara
2/2/2016 04:46:57 pm
What great news, cousin! Let me know if having a connection with other adoptive families is useful to you. I have friends who are so lucky and blessed to have 2 gorgeous children who were born in China and beautifully cared for by their children's homes.
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Tish
2/3/2016 09:34:27 pm
What a wonderful blessing. You and Ben are amazing people. I can't wait to see your new little girl. Love you. Happy birthday 💛
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